Black People = Trashy White Women

Here’s an article submitted by “Jenny”.

Now, I know the title got you in here, so I’m going to explain exactly how this comparison works.

Black people are like trashy white women (you know, the ones you always see sporting two things: a douchebag, loudmouth husband, and a black eye). They love being treated like crap and they will reward you for it.

Case(s) in point: When I started out as a server, I believed EVERY LAST WORD of the liberal bullcrap I would spew to servers (before I got into the industry): “Black people don’t tip because you give them crappy service. Your prejudgement (sp?) of them causes you, indirectly or not, to give bad service, so you do, and they tip low. The cycle is YOUR FAULT.”

And then I got sick of giving my usual 100%-A+-better-than-you-deserve service to black people about a month ago, and saw the tips rise, at or above 10% per check (even over $100), which, while dismal to most people as a tip, is almost unheard-of when it comes to black folks.

Now, to be clear, I do NOT give anyone attitude, sass, or anything of the kind. You suck at tipping, but you’re still people. However, I’ve noticed the tiniest thing. Make them wait for you to acknowledge them and get everything started, and they treat you VERY well, tip-wise. I’ll take my top six examples, three from before I started my little experiment, and three from after, and you can decide for yourself.

Case 1: A four top, midafternoon, during a not-too-cheap promotion at my work. They came in, I greeted them right away and got a drink order, and two of them wanted drinks from the bar, but couldn’t decide, so asked me to pick for them. I chose two Bahama Mamas, and while they’re not horribly unreasonable, they are more expensive than some of the other mixed drinks we offer. All four ordered off the promotional menu, and their bill was around $94 and change. A+ service, they never had to ask me for refills, I got the modded orders to their exact specifications, and checked back frequently. The young woman who paid on her card rounded the bill up to $99 even. So less than five bucks.

Case 2: A three-top of a fellow Darden server, her husband, and their child. Same kind of deal, two drinks each, appetizers, and promo meals. Same grade-A service, no-ask refills, a quick greeting, etc. Their meal (after her 25% discount), came to just over $70. She tipped (a FELLOW SERVER, may I remind you) $5.

Case 3: A young-ish couple, not too needy (except for the requisite gallon of ranch dressing to drink…I mean…use to dip EVERYTHING IN), had some drinks, an app, quick greeting, amazing service, no asking for anything, and by the time dinner was said an done, an $80 check. He left $3, enough to round the bill to $84.

Now for AFTER my experiment began. I came to the conclusion that most people come to. “Why am I running myself ragged for you, allowing my service to suffer for other tables, when THEY will compensate me for running me around, and YOU won’t?” So I decided to change it up and see what happened:

Case 1: A four-top comes in for our newest promotion. I’ve gone over my section limit and taken a fourth table, so I’m extremely busy to say the least. Unintentionally, my service to them suffers (they had the misfortune of being seated last, and were therefore on my very back burner. I didn’t plan it that way; it was just circumstantial). They waited ten minutes for me to greet them and get their drink order, but I apologized profusely, and gave them necessary (not A+) service: Just the basics (get drink order, grab drinks, grab meal order, grab salads). It was all drop-n-go, but aside from making them wait, I did nothing outside my normal service routine. $88 check, and a $100 bill inside the jacket after they left. Yep, eleven bucks on 88.

Case 2: I wanted to see if it was a flaw, so this table waited 20 minutes before being greeted (by another server, who also delivered said drinks), then waited another 5 for me to finally get around to getting their order. Again, a very sincere apology, but my service didn’t suffer aside from the initial wait. Their bill was $115. They tipped me $15.

Case 3 (most recent): An six-top family out for our all-you-can-eat promotion. Again, a fifteen minute wait before greeting and grabbing a drink order, another five to grab drinks (and of course there wasn’t enough booze in them), and the basics of service (by basics, I should elaborate, I mean I didn’t ask them what brought them out that evening, or look to carry on any further conversation past what they would like to eat or drink. It didn’t help that the horny grandpa was constantly hitting on me all night, offering to give me a massage so he wouldn’t have to pay his bill *shudder*). Their check was $124. They left $140 in case. Sixteen bucks.

So my theory stands thusly: Black people are like trashy white women. They love being mistreated (now, only by being made to wait. I do NOT let the rest of my service suffer or give them an attitude), and they will pay you BETTER when you do it. I would LOVE it if other servers tested this out and saw how it worked for them (also, a note: I have unintentionally been unable to get to non-black customers, and they complain if they sit for ten minutes without being addressed. Not ONE of my black tables complained to management about the wait).

So in light of all this “Black people don’t tip” talk, I posit my theory thusly: “Black people tip, but only if you emphasize that their being waited on is a PRIVILEGE that you give them, not a RIGHT that they’re entitled to”. Just my two cents (you know, a typical tip from a black person).

-Jenny