Don’t be a Menace to the Delivery Driver While Actin a Fool in Tha Hood

An anonymous deliver driver in Florida gives some insight as to how life is hard out there for a driver. He also lists 9 examples of what goes on out there on the streets when you’re a delivery driver as well as some pointers for drivers. My own take is that this person needs to find a new line of work. When you’re beaten down like this, you might be dangerously close to your breaking point.

So I’ve read almost all of the stories on here (depressing, now I have to find another awesome site like this one) and I’ve found a common tone that seems to underlie the majority of them: Black people don’t tip. Also they are usually rude, picky, obnoxious, try to get things comped, and generally act like they the Grand High Poobah of wherever they have to be. Well guess what?

That ain’t shit compared to how they act when YOU are in THEIR environment.

Some of the comments I’ve read here were posted by individuals who seem to feel slighted or offended at the categorizing of blacks as non-tipping, rude assholes. They seem to feel the need to defend the behavior witnessed by the posters of these stories, as though in doing so they are living up to some ideal they possess, an ideal where we all live in some race-less wonderland where everyone gets together and respects one another, and blah blah blah.

Wrong. Totally fucking wrong. In reality, one side DOES get along well with others, and generally tries to act respectful and cordial to everyone else, regardless of race. Shit, by law we HAVE TO do this.

The other group? Not so much. All this being said, here are some stories.

  1. Countless times (seriously) I would deliver to a home, only to be told “Ain’t got dat much. dis wut i got.” Always a dollar or so short. As a delivery driver? I get to (usually) give them their order and eat the cost. As the manager, back when I would deliver and manage? “If you don’t have the money, you don’t get the food.” “Dats yo JOB, you best gimme dat!” “I’ll just take it back to the store then.” “No hode up, lemme see I can find dat money…” Ten minutes later… “I got twenty-cent.” “Oooook, you owe me a dollar.” “Aight…” Ten more minutes… “I found a quatah.” “Then you owe .75.” Onward and onward until they get it all. By then, their food is cold. Then they get the bomb dropped: “OK, here’s the deal: The next time you want to order delivery, call somewhere else. We do NOT want your business.” “You can’t do dat! I’ma call yo manager!” “OK, call the number in about 5 minutes. Ask for Arcades. I will answer and tell you, no, we do not want your business.”
    Bear in mind, I would do the same for my employees. Strangely enough, I had no one quit in the year and a half I managed that store, and only had to fire 4 people.
  2. “Keep the change, cracker!” the gentleman says, slapping something in my hand. I get into my car and look down… It’s a ten, a single, and,stuck between the two like one of those ad inserts in your favorite magazine: A crisp $100 bill. By the time I get back to the store this respectful gentleman has already called asking whether he might perhaps have accidentally given me an extra hundred. “Nope. Just a ten, a one, and a ‘keep the change, cracker.'” Racist fuck. I should’ve donated that $100 to George Bush’s 2000 campaign, since he “hates black people.”
  3. If you DO deliver in the hood, be watchful for flying rocks/stones/other shit. They like to pelt your car like Somalis chucking dud grenades at the Rangers. Seriously, it’s like driving through a third-world country, and it might be a couple blocks from your house. It (should) really makes you think.
  4. Someone runs into the road in front of your car? Accelerate! They will scatter. Also, if someone asks for help, aim at them with your car, or drive around them if you’re squeamish: They’re trying to rob you. It’s happened quite a few times in my (old) neck of the woods.
  5. If you can, buy a gun, learn how to use it, and carry it with you. If you have one of those pizza-carrying bags, set the gun (the side the goes “boom” pointed away from you) on top of the pizzas. One hand holds the bag from underneath, the other hand knocks (hahahah, there are no working doorbells in the hood, silly white person!). After knocking (or trying the doorbell, since you don’t believe me ;-; ) your hand goes on the gun. Now you have a nice bead on the person answering the door. Keep your ears and eyes open, as people might be outside and circling around you. 99 times out of 100, you’re overreacting. That one time you aren’t, just remember: It’s better to be alive and have nightmares, than dead to feed some welfare case and his buddies.
  6. There are no addresses in the ghetto. Also, no working lights. Get a powerful flashlight (I recommend a Mag-Lite, as it doubles as a self-defense weapon, if necessary). There might be one address on an entire street. Have fun with that one.
  7. Treat everyone as though you KNOW you’re getting a huge tip. It doesn’t work, but then you can always claim the moral high-ground when they stiff you/rob you/yell racial taunts at you as you drive away/throw rocks at you as you drive away/call and complain to get things comped/or any other thing you can think of.
  8. Try to work your way up to manager, make sure your boss knows you’re amazing, and then take it to those fuckers. Refuse service for no tips. Cut off a whole neighborhood when one of your drivers gets robbed, until the police find those responsible. Advise your drivers to take their sweet time on deliveries to known no-tippers. Oh, that’s right! All you guys and gals complaining about “I only got X%!” Well quit crying. As a delivery driver YOU GET TO PAY to deliver to them. No tip + paying for a portion of their order = pissed off driver. Pissed off driver = someone looking to switch jobs. Someone looking and ABLE to switch jobs = shitty delivery drivers stay, good ones move on.

So that’s pretty much it. If this winds up getting posted, I’ll include some more stories in the comments. Thanks for reading.

That was a pretty interesting read. I can feel the stress pouring out of my computer monitor. After reading this, you can safely assume the author is a male and he’s white. He can’t stand delivery to “ghetto”, predominantly black, neighborhoods. I spent a few months delivering food as a white male and can vouch for most of the stuff he said as far as doorbells not working, black people being mean to you because you’re white, robbery attempts, not having enough money to pay for the food, etc. It all happened to me.

What I want to know is why are people “in the hood” like this? While I get some pretty mean, clearly hating whitey, people in the restaurant I work at, I certainly dealt with much more craziness out on the streets when I was delivering food. I can clearly remember a few black people doing weird, crazy shit to me like:

  • One customer dropped the money on the ground and said, “there ya go.”
  • One customer tried to trade some video games to me because she didn’t have enough money.
  • One customer called me a “white-boy.”
  • Several customers called to complain about the food as soon as it was dropped off. The learned they could get double their order by complaining. This happens in restaurants all the time.

Besides just not delivering to “ghetto” neighborhoods, what can be done to help this situation? Why do black people in “ghetto” neighborhoods absolutely hate white delivery drivers?


  1. Shauna V

    I use to do the books for a local pizza delivery place and got my boyfriend a job there. His very first delivery, to a notorious ghetto neighborhood, he was beaten up and robbed. I came to learn that just about every driver that delivered there had been attacked. Black drivers flat out refused to go there. Finally, the owner banned deliveries to that area entirely. As a result, the ghetto folks called constantly, screaming racism and making threats they would kill everyone that worked in the store. They acted like escapees from a mental institution. It was unreal. Delivering food is a thankless job. Even on other restaurant websites, I have seen servers post that the drivers don’t deserve more than a couple bucks, because they don’t do much. WTF? They use THEIR cars, THEIR GAS, THEIR TIME, to bring you food because you can’t or won’t come get it. They deliver in all elements of weather. Often, in between deliveries, they have to prep food, fold boxes, do cleaning and other duties that all contribute the quick and safe delivery of your food. They do deserve tips and decent tips at that. And NO ONE deserves to have to deal with ghetto folks and trailer park white trash!

  2. admin1

    I used to work for a food delivery company and my boss wanted to go after food stamp customers. Some of the places I was sent to were unreal. It was alot of wasted time trying to sell to people that don’t work. I never understood his logic. I eventually became the GM and we did not bother with these places and our sales went throught the roof and my comission sales people were much happier.

  3. working for tips sux unless u work in bolder, colorodo

    thats an awesome comment admin….i live in ms….methhead and cheap black person capital OF THE WORLD

  4. maria

    Not that it helps but they hate you because they’re jealous low life animals and if it aint’t free they can’t get nothing. Cause they sure ain’t gonna work because they are too busy moaning about shit that happened 100 years ago. Doesn’t bother me the majority will take down the entire race. I understand about the gun. I live in Florida and have no problem with defending myself in a hostile environment.

  5. Katie

    They don’t hate white delivery drivers they just hate having to pay for anything. You feel insulted by being called “white boy?” You have heard what they call each other haven’t you?

  6. JB83

    I can vouch for everything this guy has said. As someone who went from a deliver driver to the general manager of the delivery company (we delivered from 70 different restaurants), and now over to serving (I moved states), being a delivery driver sucks.

    When I first started, most drivers stayed about one month and quit. The biggest change I made when I became GM is I blocked off the neighborhoods I knew were problem areas and simply refused to deliver to them. The owner was a bit nervous, but I promised him it would increase our business.

    Within one year our retention for drivers was through the roof as was the quality of our delivery time. We went from about 30-40 deliveries a night to well in excess of 100 (not to mention our ticket prices went up). The reason was simple; my drivers were gaining experience and weren’t bogged down dealing with lower class clients (a few of the places blocked off were predominately white – ghetto or trailers, doesn’t matter, it’s no good for deliver).

    Now that I’m serving I don’t have those luxuries. At the same time, I dont’ envy anyone who has to deliver food, especially if certain areas aren’t blocked off.

  7. Biloxipizzaboy

    Down here where I deliver there’s not much in the way of ghettos but I’ve found that the trashy meth lab trailer parks to be just as bad. More than one occasion I’ve had to pull my gun on someone trying to rob me and being shot at over pizza just isn’t fun. Most cops just turn their back to it because as long as it stays in the trailerpark they see it as junkies shooting junkies. Before I became a manager I still remember the biggest tip I ever got there was 2 sudafeds and 85 cents

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