A Whale Of a Time

Submitted By Christy In New Orleans.

This story is an oldie, but a goodie. I used to work at a T.G.I.Fridays in VA Beach as a second job (my day job was at a day care), and I had just clocked out for the night when my manager comes flying into the kitchen gagging. I asked what happened and she didn’t say a word, just pointed to the bar area and ran to the bathroom. I peeked out and saw a very large man sitting on the floor, covered in vomit.

The server for the table came running in as well and headed to the bathroom. I started to get the mop together for them and waited until they came out. Turns out neither of them could/would clean the mess up, they kept gagging. So I went out to take care of it, as working with kids gave me a pretty strong stomach. This guy was obviously drunk, and had thrown up all over himself, the table, and the floor.  It was an amazing amount of vomit.

This guy was HUGE. Pieces of the meal he just ate were literally dripping off the table and clinging to his mouth. He told me he got food poisoning from the meal he just ate and wanted everything free. I explained to him (as I’m cleaning his vomit) how the whole food poisoning thing works and his friend said he was just drunk and apologized for the mess. Fatty puke guy was having none of it though. He was being rude and muttering things under his breath about how the food made him sick and how he was going to sue us, “I’m not paying for this”, yada yada. Luckily the manager refused to come out so I was able to really tell this guy what I was thinking. It went a little something like this.

“Sir, you are obviously intoxicated and *that* is why you threw up. Your friend here already told me that. If you do not pay your bill in full I will call the police on you. You should be ashamed at the way you are acting in public, and you should never come here again after tonight.” He started to pull his wallet out without even trying to clean his hands so I turned to his friend and said, “Maybe you should pay for this and have him pay you back later, I’m not touching his money right now.” So the friend paid, apologized again and carried the big guy out. I finished cleaning and brought the book to the server. Guess what? She got stiffed. But the manager and the server gave me $20 just because they didn’t have to clean up!