Here’s an article submission from a bartender at a bowling alley. I’ve waited on a few deaf people in m y life and never really had a problem. I used to have this one “regular” who was really cool and tipped well. He would write his order down on a piece of stationary then hand it to me. On the top of the stationary, it explained that he was deaf and mute. He would tip a solid $10.00 every time.
Deaf Customers Can Be Rude.,I worked at a bowling alley as a bartender. During the “league season” we have on average a couple hundred regulars coming through in just a few hours and a lot of them like to drink. Bartending for bowlers is a chore in itself, but every customer set is different and that’s the job.
However, there was also a large party booked that day of around 100 deaf people. I was still the only bartender working at the time. My bar had access from 2 sides to it, one from the lanes and one from the bar area. We had slips of paper and pencils out for the deaf party so they could better communicate their orders. I understand that being deaf is a handicap, but I don’t understand sign language and you can’t understand me, so let’s use the paper and help each other out. Screaming “tah key one eye!” (obviously a Tequila Sunrise) at me over and over again when I offer you a slip of paper because I can’t understand you doesn’t resolve the issue. And when I turn to help the line of league bowlers, who are in there drinking every week for the next 6 months, don’t slam the glasses on the bar to get my attention. I am CLEARLY busy serving people who have been patiently waiting. Don’t throw the paper at me that we set out for you to write orders on to get my attention. Don’t scream at the top of your lungs because you think I can’t hear you. I have acknowledged you, politely held up my hand to ask for a minute while I serve someone else. I even asked some partial deaf people to teach me some basic signs so I could try to communicate better. Don’t use your handicap as an excuse to be rude.
I lost my hearing when I was 30, and I’ve spent the last four years trying to learn how to be deaf and navigate communicating in a hearing world. Something I feel is necessary to add is that deafness is not just a communication barrier, it’s a cultural duifference with many different behavioral norms. For example, deaf people slam on tables tops or stomp on the floor to get each other’s attention. It’s not rude in that context, so you probably misinterpreted that person slamming the glass on the table. I also have a hard time telling how loud I speak because I can’t hear my own voice. I also ask if you took the time to write on the note paper to open the communication. Sadly, I am learning through similar experiences that the burden lies on the deaf person to figure out how to communicate, and many hearing people either get frustrated or become dismissive when they can’t interact effectively, which leads to greater frustration on the part of the deaf person.
Awesome comment! Thanks so much for contributing. How did you lose your hearing?
No experiance as a bartender/server. But lots of experiance as cashier at fastfood restaurants, library clerk, and the absolute worst place to work: walmart. So I know all about asshole customers, nice customers, disabled customers, et al. I see what you’re saying. Maybe I have a chip on my shoulder b/c of my bad stutter. Maybe I assume the worst. I’ve been treated like shit and laughed at by servers and store clerks, and customers. Maybe the deaf people in the story above had been, too, so they assumed the bartender would be the same way. It could be they didnt give the guy a chance, and went into offense mode.
It makes me sad to think people……adults……laugh at you because you stutter. I’m not doubting people do this. But, do you ever think you walk into a situation where you just automatically assume someone or people are going to make fun of you? I ask because, at the place I wait tables, not even the biggest idiot there makes fun of people with handicaps or deficiencies.
You said you knew what they were trying to say (tequila sunrise), yet you still offered the slip of paper? How do you think that made them feel? Do you offer a slip of paper to foreigners or someone with a deep southern accent? I’m not deaf, but I have a bad speech impediment, so I know all about people who honestly think they aren’t treating me any different, yet their body posture and behavior say otherwise. And I find it hard to believe all or most out of a group of hundred were rude. Most likely most of them can’t gauge how loudly they’re speaking to you, and they may be used to speaking loudly to partially deaf people. They may even have to speak loudly so they can ‘hear’ the vibrations of their voice. Anyway, how does being deaf automatically make a person more likely to be rude?
Bottom line is, I guarantee you were uncomfortable around them, and it showed. I can pick up even subtle discomfort, and I’m sure others with handicaps can as well. People like us get looked at and talked to like we are stupid. I talk different, I don’t think different. If they come back, try to treat them as you would a hearing person. Have the pen/paper out on the counter, but don’t hand it to them if they can speak.
I think he couldn’t understand that they were saying tequila sunrise. Most likely meant that sarcastically. If you’re not used to people with certain dialects/speech impediments then it’s very hard to comprehend what’s being said to you. Like I normally understand my foreign friends without much trouble. One day we were at a clothing store and one of them was asking for help with this girl I happened to know working there. After he was gone she walked up to me and asked if she was being clear and if he could understand her. She said she felt bad because she didn’t want to seem condescending but at the same time it wasn’t clear her normal speech was getting through.
But I’d like to know you’re experience working as a bartender/server, because it’s very clear to anyone with experience to be able to tell the difference between rude/impatient customers and ones that are having a hard time getting you to understand them.