A reader going by the alias, “Good Tipper” asks what you would do if you were put in their recent situation. There are so many great customers out there and no good server ever wants to see them unhappy with their restaurant visit. Good servers, who have regulars who tip well, certainly never want to lose their regulars due to a coworkers lack of adequate server skills. I’ll chime in with my advice after you read what “Good Tipper” has to share.
Okay, I have a question here:
I’m a good tipper – 20% is my default, and if I’ve been by myself and ordered a small meal, I’ll tip 30%-35%, knowing I took up space.
We have a nice restaurant in my small Midwestern town where we’re regular customers. The kitchen can back up pretty quickly, and we know it, so it’s not unusual for us to get there a bit before the dinner rush if we have plans after dinner. Otherwise, we get their later and just let our usual waiter ply us with baskets of the great bread and transcendent garlic butter and drink wine. It’s a place we go to enjoy our meal, not rush through it, so we’re fine with the kitchen issues since the servers are good about checking in and giving you updates.
On a recent mid-week visit (when we did have post-dinner plans), we got there early, and had a different server – one we’ve never seen before. In a room with at least 20 tables, she only had two – ours and the two-top next to us. All other waiters – including our favorite who came in later – had at least three or four tables, and they were a mix of anywhere from 2 to 8 customers.
We get our drinks, we get bread, we get our appetizers, no problem. And then, the waitress disappears entirely for a solid 25 minutes. We were in a place where we could see the in/out flow of the kitchen and bar, and we simply never saw her. But we did see all of the other servers actively doing their thing, and larger tables getting their appetizers and entrees, even though they were seated 10 minutes after us.
She finally shows up with a water pitcher, and we asked about our entrees. She said “the kitchen backed up – you know how it is here.” We got our meals 5 minutes later, and they were just on the threshold of cold – just warm enough to be palatable, but certainly not the nicely hot temp they usually are coming out of that kitchen. The table next to us looked to have the same problem, so we’re pretty sure our entrees were under warming lamps for quite some time.
Normally we’d complain, but we wanted to get out, so ate our meals and paid the check (with a 18% tip, low for us). Now maybe she had a minor personal emergency. Or maybe she lost track of time on her break. But we are about 99% positive that our meals weren’t late to our table because of the kitchen, but because the server left our food in the kitchen.
I don’t deny there are many crappy customers out there. But what do you do when you have a crappy server? Do you undertip? Do you talk to management? I don’t want to be a bitch, but I would think the manager would want to know that a new server annoyed one of their regulars.
Personally, I think you should always speak up. While you don’t have to alert the manager for everything (because I understand not wanting to get someone “in trouble”), you should always be able to ask your server what the problem is. In that situation, I would have flagged down a different server. Just notify one of your server’s coworkers to the fact that it’s been some time since you’ve seen your server, and you want to know if everything is okay.
Why did your server go missing? Well, it could have been for many reasons. I don’t know what the layout looks like at the restaurant you visited, but maybe she had tables in a different section of the restaurant. If this was the case, maybe one of those other tables held her up. I’ve had large parties take in excess of 10 minutes to order there meal. That can be a really tough spot for a server to be in. It’s usually why I get “in the weeds”. Other than that, maybe she had an emergency phone call, hurt themselves and was applying first aid, or had a bathroom emergency that took a lot longer than expected. In any of those instances, she should have notified a fellow server, or a manager, of her situation and to request help with her tables.
What do you do when you're pretty sure your server lied to you?,
Original poser of the question here – haven’t been online in a bit
To answer questions:
@Nico Rey – SO not an Olive Garden. Words cannot express how much the restaurant is not an Olive Garden. It is a nice, independent restaurant. Your comments on training new servers, though, are noted.
@Smash – normally, we would have. I am not at all shy about sending back cold, undercooked or overcooked food. (I live in the Midwest – but I was raised by NYC natives between DC and NYC. I’m not a quiet, accepting Midwesterner
) But we had tickets for something and we were afraid if we sent the food back, it would take another 30 minutes to get new plates. We decided to just take what we had and grabbed her for the check before we’d even finished so we could get out on time.
@Goldi272 – easier said than done. The other servers all really focus on their tables and are generally kept busy. In fact, I’ve never seen this server again, so I’m quite sure she either quit or was fired shortly thereafter. She was very much not up to the quality of the rest of their great staff. Even eating outside on their patio – where the distance to the kitchen and bar are longer and the staff has a difficult terrain to navigate – the service is never that slow and the food is never cold. It’s only the kitchen that can get in the weeds, and I never, ever blame a server for that.
@Admin – the way the restaurant is set up, we would have seen if she had another section. She did not (not even their patio, as it wasn’t open for the season, but the patio usually appears to have two or three dedicated servers). Like I said, I didn’t want to complain in case there was some sort of personal emergency – I didn’t want to be that bitch who ended up here on the other side of the story (“You wouldn’t BELIEVE the woman I had sitting at my table tonight…”), but it did seem a bit odd. But it’s good to know a server should have let someone know and the slack should have been taken up.
As noted above, I’ve never seen that server again. Can’t say I’m upset about that. Our regular waiter I’m sure is glad to have us back.
You had every right to speak up and ask why you had not seen your server. I don’t doubt for a minute that your food was sitting under heat lamps while your server was doing heaven knows what. And yes, the rule of thumb in any chain is “hot food comes first”; someone should have walked it to the table.
I remember one of my first serving jobs when I forgot to ring in my guests’ orders, and I had to very embarrassingly confess to my guests what I had done. Yes, my guests were mad, but my conscience was clean because I admitted it; many servers would have taken the easy way out and lied, saying it was the kitchen’s fault. It takes a lot of guts to admit that you’ve made a mistake, despite the backlash I got. It was a very embarrassing (and no tip) experience for me, and I vowed to never do that again. Guests understand that restaurants get busy, but a server should always be accountable and do the right thing by the guest. Ever since that day, I make sure that I communicate with my guests as to the status of their order. They appreciate that I care enough to come by and tell them “I just checked on your food; it will be out in a few minutes”; I’ve also noticed a difference in my tip percentage, as well.
No idea why your server disappeared.
However, I feel that the entire restaurant is at fault if your food was in fact dying in the window. The managers, expo, food runner, and other servers should have been paying attention.
Hot food is priority, always.
I doubt it was an Olive Garden as the other poster suggested, as large corporate chains are very serious about not allowing food to die in the window. Everyone runs food, and there is no reason that a dish should be sitting in the window for that length of time.
Hot food is priority, always.
Anyways,
When I have a server who is subpar, I still usually tip decently. Maybe ~15%.
In your situation, I would have sent the food back.
Ah, you went to Olive Garden, I gather? I’m not insulting Olive Garden, but from your description, it probably was and I can explain the possible situation and how things work there. Okay, so she seemed new and only had two tables when the rest had 3 or maybe 4? I’m pretty sure they probably only had 3 because servers for Olive Garden are allowed only 3 tables during a shift because they are so involved with the guest. New servers are only allowed 2 tables at a time until they get the hang of it and move up to 3 tables. Usually, only takes a week or two depending.
Your server was obviously new. A lot of times new servers don’t monitor their food in the window. If there’s not anyone on expo, then it’s probably likely she didn’t realize her table’s food were up. You were the perfect table to teach this newbie to monitor her tables food and not rely on expo or other servers to run it. I mean, we servers all run food for each other, but we still have to be on top of or estimated wait times for entrees and let the guest know if the kitchen is backed up or what the situation is. She will learn this. Yes, she lied to you, and it’s not right, but it comes with her probably being worried she would get in trouble for not monitoring the food (esp if she’s new). Seasoned servers that are good at what they do would’ve told you the situation. When I was new, I let the guest know and apologized. I always hold accountability with my guest if I messed up. We all should in most situations.
She probably disappeared b/c she was running food for other tables, too. Learning to carry the trays and learning table numbers and sections. There’s a lot of reasons a server disappears for awhile and so aren’t reasonable but most can be caused by getting caught up with other guests or something personal.
Either way, you were a perfect learning table for her and hopefully she learned to keep on top of food times in the kitchen and ask line cooks estimated wait times.
Hopes this helps.
I forgot to add what to do in that situation. In some establishments, if a newbie does newbie mistakes, management does need to know so they can offer redirection and help her not make that mistake in the future. If the management is worth a damn. The suggestion to ask another server in the area was a good one as well, b/c maybe they could’ve offered her redirection and notified the manager to come talk to you and apologized. In that situation, you should’ve got a discount, food comp’t, or a free dessert b/c of your wait time and your food being cold. It is to let the guest know that we value your patience and business and want you to return. In other words, we care.
Ha! I’ll stop now. I sound like a trainer, don’t I? Hmmmm…..